Spies

I do not deal with failures well. I hate them. I guess it's same with all people. but I am talking for myself. I have my own arrogance. oh I don't give a rat's ass about people. Never had. All I need is to feel good in my own skin. and to feel good in my own skin, i need to succeed in what i do. Reminds me funnily of one thing. I have an orange long sleeve shirt. At first when I bought it, I always thought it was really nice on me. I never lived off compliments, i don't trust people. simple as that. but i trusted myself, when i thought i looked great in it. But apparently, I never looked nice at all in it!! YEAH! do i care now. after 3 or 4 years. i still have that silly shirt. I don't like it that much. But however, it made me feel good about myself. so it counts! I think I may be having some problems relating to objects outside myself. Or again! I simply don't care about the things around me. Or my aura is so effing small, I can collide with anything, I don't feel things around me. Physically enough to avoid them. Hence thinking bout it, i've always been bumpy, colliding and hurting myself all the bloody time. But anyhow, am living. dead things are not. hahah! I love the sky. Maybe we're part of each other. But the vastness is where I belong. I don't want to be shut off with objects. I want the music to float higher. on higher notes. But they don't understand. I am loving what I do right now. It's good to feel worthwhile. hahahah! And oh! i have to show what I am made up of too. Yeah of star dust, cooked with cosmic radiation. Hell!! Oh so Peter is reigning over my head. I needed a break from writing technical stuffs. I don't know what other think of me. Dead or alive. I don't know if i'd make any difference to anyone. hahhahah! harsh things to say. All I can pray is that no one binds me to anything. I have made it. I ran away. But loved ones, the smell of roses, the need to know everything are things that get you attached. Love will release you from everything, just to bind you in itself. and that my friend, is all you will ever want in your little life.