Raining over Jupiter

The first planet I had seen as rose above in the sky was Jupiter.
yes that very first flight. i didn't know what i was looking at. or rather
who i was looking at.

My technical and critical side of my mind has already taken up the relay.
so no sweet words are reaching my heart. i get exhausted.
Maybe I am afterall like the others, waiting for it all to get over.
so that all i could do with my days is take care of my garden and read my books.

Is it that i have no ambitions at all? I don't know. it's such a complicated place.

But then who will free us from all misery of the world. oh by the way
Happy New Year.

i can clearly remember year after year. watching the fireworks. it all looked the same. year after year. my heart pounding as the explosions grew louder and louder.
I still don't know what the celebrations were about. We had to get back to work the next day anyway.
But during those nights, as my heart would cry as Orion would disappear behind wordly clouds.

there is no chronological follow up in my thoughts i am sorry.
but the thing i can remember is me saying : I am going.

Oh i must get over the fact that I have left home.
Many people did it. what the hell am i crying about.
I cannot talk to no one. the reason i am here primarily.

The problem with sweet words or compliments as you would say, is that it never
comes from people you would want it to come from.
So when it comes from a person you have no heart for, it does not make any sense.
I am talking as someone who ofcourse does not care for sweet words from the world.
Do they really mean it? Who knows that heart!! hahahaha
Hypocrites all the bunch of them. No not all of them.

Some people I guess don't feel the need to say those sweet words. (maybe me included) but at times they just burst out.
You just don't know what you're capable of doing until you do it. YES LIKE TAKING THE PLANE.

I will always remember myself in Dubai. as i walked through this lounge. full of people. women and men more and more beautiful by the step i took. i felt like a dwarf or a goblin or a gollum.
International had taken a whole new meaning. The world awaited. The world always awaits.
for a new person to emerge. To take up the challenge.
So i was there walking and struggling with my bags, but i stood straight. i might have been uncomfortable but I knew i was going somewhere.
Some say it doesn't matter where you're going as long as you know where your roots are.
and some say that you don't have to know where you come from, just have to know where you're going to.

Well here, i'd propose a merging and say that knowing your roots is as important as knowing where you're going.

Can you imagine what it would be like if the sun made any sound at sunrise and sunset?
what it would be like if all the stars would make a sound or a music as they rose above in the sky.
Apart from being totally awesome, it would be chaotic.
Trying to exist. making your existance perceived.
Then God had the brilliant idea of the vacuum, said, Sound, thou shalt not travel in space. then BAAM ! Silence.
Imagine the sound of a 'roaring' blackhole.
the rotation of a galaxy. beating of pulsar.
But then maybe our senses are not enough. a level too low. maybe our brains not evolved enough for so much processing of so many senses we are supposed to have.

That theory of butterfly's flapping wings in amazon and tsunami in japan. i think i decoded it in a weird manner.

i don't feel like writing anymore.
Check on u later .